Friday, February 18, 2011

Realizations of a "Fiat" God.

It has been the most boringly, interesting week.  It's one of those weeks that seemed somewhat "normal" and yet here it is Friday at 4PM and I realize that all the "normal" has led me to a huge revelation and grateful heart.
I've been really sick all week. Grouchy.  Irritable. Not able to engage well with people due to low energy. One of those weeks where you want to throw your shoe at the heads of those who take for granted their significant other when you have to go to the store in your pj's for kleenex and the latest People magazine. Oh it's a cruel, cruel world. :)  Anyway, I was feeling sorry for myself when I started thinking back over my week, which led me to one year ago. The day I learned about "FIAT" God. And no, I'm not talking about the cheap little European car.  I'm talking about being in a place where hope deferred makes the heart sick and you don't see how things could change.  Awake my soul. 
 It was February 1st, 2010 when I sat down with my dear friend and mentor Carol Jordan and she said, "Beth, have you heard about God being a 'Fiat" God?"  I was tempted to nod in arrogance, but I had not a clue what was coming out of her mouth.  Awake my soul. Pause.  Let me back up here.  In 2007 and 2008 there was a mass Exodus in Knoxville of my core group of friends.  MASS EXODUS.  A life I had loved was no longer.  It was me and Jesus and the Marshmans and a really hard two years with Campus Crusade at UT for me personally.  Even writing about the Marshmans makes me cry.  Hank and Chrisy and their two sons Brett and Blake are my second family.  They have been constant.  Awake my soul.  I was physically sick in many ways that I've shared about in the past and it had taken it's toll emotionally as well. God has created us for relationship....being in relationship with others who walk with Him brings healing....it is also painful as we speak truth in love and exhort.  However, it is a gift and when that community was stripped away, I floundered.  Back to Carol and February 1st, 2010.  "Fiat" - means Creator. God creates out of NOTHING.    Carol said, "Let's pray and ask God to bring community out of nothing!" This sounds pitiful.  Oh well, nothing like showing your guts on the worldwide web. Awake my soul.

So my first gift came in the form of one of my best friends from Cumberland College days.  J Lo (Jennifer Loveday) moved in to the other side of my house.  I can't even tell you how big of a blessing that has been. Is that my soul stirring?

Another way it has come is in the form of the Ancelets.  Tracie and I have had tons of mutual friends and have shared a love of  well.....EVERYTHING.  A friend who knows both of us have coined us, "Peanut butter and jelly."  Tracie and I have also both been to Larry Crabb's school of spiritual direction, so we speak the same language. Soul is stirring even more.  I love the Ancelet's.  They also have a three year old named Abel who they adopted from Ethiopia which has been a dream of mine.  Tracie - FIAT my friend.  What a gift you are. 
 Today I got some more great news.  My roommate my first three years on staff, Kim, is moving close to Knoxville.  I literally cannot believe this.  Kim "Keebie Jeanie" and I laugh so hard when we are together and also share on a deep level things that God is doing in our lives.  I am doing toe touches over the fact that I will get the opportunity to be an "auntie" to her kiddos and to do life a little more with her.  Soul is awake!
 When I started school at Richmont, I never thought that it would open up a whole new world of friendships, but it has gone way above and beyond what I ever thought possible. I meet women like Jane Neall, who is fighting Pancreatic cancer with bravery and doesn't want to be known for that.  She loves Jesus and it exudes from every fiber of her being.  You meet people like Rae, a single mom of three who fights for justice and gives those a voice who don't have one.  You meet Phillip who costs you a lot of money due to his book recommendations.  I've also loved that these friends aren't phased at all when you feel like a train wreck.  There's also no room for small talk or superficiality because we are in school for counseling.  It's pretty hilarious. 

Thanks for letting me ramble about people you do not even know.  I do this for myself, because like the Israelites, I constantly need to REMEMBER   God's faithfulness and celebrate it.  Sometimes I have the book so close to my face that I can't see the story.  Thank you, God for creating something out of nothing.  I didn't have to do a thing.  I couldn't have even if I had wanted to, I was too broken and ill.  Awake my soul and sing. I have no idea where you are if you are reading this, but I do know that He is a FIAT God for you as well.  He longs for our lives to fully AWAKENED to Him.  Only then can we dream dreams He has for us and be open and alive to the adventure and invitation He extends to us on a daily basis......here we go.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ljr6lqu2-ec

4 comments:

Denise McCoy said...

Moving. Thanks for sharing your heart, and for letting us see the beauty you are. Awake my soul, indeed!!

A Team said...

Precious friend... what a gift you have been to me. I just told Ted yesterday how comfortable I feel w you... I feel ok to be JUST WHERE I AM... and that is such a gift to me right now.
You, precious Beth, have been a flower budding in my winter.. Peanut Butter to my Jelly... a good push up bra to my chest (what?)
I LOVE YOU!

kristinwithani said...

Oh, Beth, I so needed this this morning. Thank you.

(and the Davenports have the most beautiful family!!!!)

sarahe said...

thanks so much for sharing this--and i'm so excited that you get to be close to Kim again!

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