Monday, September 22, 2014

Ain't no summer lovin'

This blog post will “bless your heart.” You will walk away with a deeper meaning of life.  

(Clear throat) 

True confession. Summer is my 4th favorite season.  All you summer peeps who get giddy about the lake, tank tops and the heat - well, good for you. It has taken me approximately 39 years to admit this earth shattering news.  I have been in denial. Who doesn’t like summer?  Apparently only people who have no soul. Some say that redheads do not have a soul.  You know what else those same people aren’t saying? Redheads spontaneously combust when out in the sun for longer than 4 minutes.  

Here is a list of what a person who has a soul (non-gingers) loves about summer:
  • wearing almost no clothing because it is hot
  • the heat
  • going to the pool everyday because of heat
  • getting tan because the sun is relentlessly beating down on the souls of summer lovers
  • wearing chaco’s with dresses
  • splash pads because sometimes it is hotter than 3 hells in the summer
  • more things to do outside. in the heat. 

Here is a list of what a person who has no soul (gingers) dislike about summer:

  • combustion
  • chronic sunburn
  • wearing zinc oxide that reminds you of when you were 5 and at the beach with your sun loving family 
  • wearing chaco’s with dresses because chaco’s make me feel like a man (sorry, but they do). I guess I have bigger issues than the sun. 
  • mosquitos

If Ann Voskamp (1000gifts) happened to read this blog she would come have a heart to heart with me.  So, for Ann’s sake and everyone else I’ll list what I am grateful for about today. 

  • I am grateful that I can paddle board and not combust
  • I am grateful for hiding my chaco’s for half the year and dealing with my masculine issues
  • I am grateful that the mosquitos will go back from the pit of you know where so I can swing on my porch and enjoy fall
  • I am grateful for pumpkins, white lights, a breeze, warm drinks, hay rides, and CLOTHING.
  • I am grateful that I can stand on my porch today, jump up and down, waving and yelling to summer, “Don’t let the door hit ya……”

2 comments:

kristinwithani said...

Preach.

April said...

I already commented on facebook,but I really hate Summer. I mean who loves the constant sweating? I have really thick, dark hair and ghostly white skin that burns easily. It's a nightmare. Also my dark hair grows really fast, so let's not event talk about shaving. I might as well just wear jeans though, because with more or less clothes, I will still be sweating profusely.

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