Saturday, July 7, 2012

Dumb and Dumber

I’ve been thinking more and more about writing. So, here I go.  My friend Jen said in order to be a writer that I am supposed to sit down for one hour a day and write.  Is this supposed to make me a Pulitzer prize winner? What is in me that I can write about for one hour a day?  So far the one story I thought to write down I have already forgotten.  Hormones?  Heat?  Unimportant? 

Ah, I have it now.  I was thinking of my friend and how she is lying to herself about the type of guy she is dating.  I remember after my broken engagement that a lady recommended to my mom a book I should read called, Telling Yourself the Truth.  Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?  I did not want to read that book, but I was afraid I was lying to myself about the possibility of reconciliation so I drug myself down to local “Bible Bookstore” managed by the local preacher/always running for an office colorful type guy, and bought it.  I stared at it for a few days and finally skimmed through it, convinced I was “telling myself the truth.”

Does anyone remember that scene in the great epic movie Dumb and Dumber?  The hot chic was telling Jim Carrey that there was about a one in a million chance of them getting together and he said, “So you’re saying there’s a chance?!?!” 

Sadly and with great humiliation, I was that girl.  It took about 9 months for me to figure out that I was not in fact telling myself the truth.  I could’ve had a baby in the time it took me to carry to full term my denial and birth it. Gross? Yes.  Why do we choose not to embrace what is so clear?  The avoiding of reality is a full-time job, is it not? Facing reality can mean grief, death of a dream, and letting go of something you thought was promised. However, in facing reality and all that encompasses it, one can sometimes get stuck in the camping out in grief and refusing to take a step toward a new normal, a new dream, a new relationship, or a different kind of promise.  But when you choose to “go there”, then a fun thing begins to happen.  The shadow can lift, the grief has passed, the anxiety and fear of the unknown future are now no longer so anxiety ridden.  The “new” can feel like hope, expectation, and a hallowed and fertile ground for birthing new dreams.  God-sized dreams.  So here begins a new one for me.  What are yours???

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

July 7

Jenn said...

Beth this was awesome.. you are amazing writer.. our time together yesterday was such a joy and blessing to me.. and this encourages me to do my 1 hour of writing a day.. I have not been good at that either.. and the book you had me buy.. AMAZING.. I love that you are birthing new God sized dreams and I am committed to being your warrior in prayer as you do! Love you
Jenn

Mama said...

Your whole life has been God-sized! Your calling, His purpose, the way he has used you to reach millions for Him, the way you get in the trenches with the hurting and love them through their tough times, and the example of truth you have been to all of us. You are a gifted writer! Write from your heart, whether it is an hour a day or three hours once a week. It does become easier when you stay in practice. I can't wait to read your best-seller!!!

Crystal @ The Full Home said...

Hi Beth, I check your blog periodically because you write so well. You have a gift, something that can't be taught but will get even better as you do it more. I'm sure you don't remember me, but I used to work for Cru in Wilmington. Looking forward to more great posts from your "one hour" a day.

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