Hoping For A Season of Change, Restoration, and Healing
There have been a lot of changes taking place in my life and it wasn’t until a few days ago that they were somewhat solidified, at least for the next couple of months.
In an effort to not bore you with long, drawn out details of my health, I will try to share briefly, and if you would like to know more then I would be glad to share. For about four years I have wrestled with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, but recently I had more blood work done that showed 6 other things that need to be addressed and the issues are serious enough that they are warranting at least a two month medical leave of absence. What this means is that I will still be going to grad school and working on campus part-time. I just need time to get well, make some lifestyle changes, see doctors, and heal.
Prior to the health alert, I had decided it was time for me to step down as the director at UT. I felt, and still feel, that God is leading me to narrow my focus on shepherding and caring for people in the ministry of Campus Crusade. While I will still shepherd, equip, and train our staff here at UT to go after the 35,000 students, faculty, and staff, I will also be traveling more to other campuses to help them do the same thing.
There have been a lot of changes taking place in my life and it wasn’t until a few days ago that they were somewhat solidified, at least for the next couple of months.
In an effort to not bore you with long, drawn out details of my health, I will try to share briefly, and if you would like to know more then I would be glad to share. For about four years I have wrestled with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, but recently I had more blood work done that showed 6 other things that need to be addressed and the issues are serious enough that they are warranting at least a two month medical leave of absence. What this means is that I will still be going to grad school and working on campus part-time. I just need time to get well, make some lifestyle changes, see doctors, and heal.
Prior to the health alert, I had decided it was time for me to step down as the director at UT. I felt, and still feel, that God is leading me to narrow my focus on shepherding and caring for people in the ministry of Campus Crusade. While I will still shepherd, equip, and train our staff here at UT to go after the 35,000 students, faculty, and staff, I will also be traveling more to other campuses to help them do the same thing.
To be completely transparent, while I am grateful to finally know what is going on health wise, I am completely overwhelmed and somewhat blue at different times during the day. I have loved being the director at UT for the past 8 years, and to let that go is an act of obedience to the Lord leading me in another direction, but it is hard. I know this blog is about as uplifting as a root canal, but at least I'm not as depressed as little Timmy in the picture.
On a funny and irritable note, I received my treatment plan today from the doctor who is working with me. Due to there being so many issues to address, part of the plan includes a drastic change in diet and I mean DRASTIC. If you know me I am a major BAKER. I love it. NEVER HAVE I EVER CRAVED A CARROT STICK. Apparently my new venacular will include, "Man, I sure am craving a salt-free rice cake with butter."
I seriously have the best friends in the world. I know that's cliche', but it's cliche' for a reason. Anyway, Haley immediately makes me an excel spreadsheet to help me with this new plan. My mom and cousin hop on board this bandwagon too. My sisters cheer for me while I gripe and my stepmother (and wonderful friend) thinks it sounds wonderful, but she's also skinny and healthy. My sweet Daddy empathizes with the loss of chocolate. Chocolate and I are having a funeral and I will be receiving friends all day, every day for the next three months.
Thanks for humoring my grouchiness and griping. I am only allowing myself to do this for tonight and tonight only. Please hear me when I say that all of this is such a small thing compared to what some are walking through. I realize that, which is why I have been hesitant to share my own stuff, but some have noticed my absence and I wanted to explain why.
One thing I keep coming back to is out of Brennan Manning's new book, "The Furious Longing of God" where he challenged someone to go before the Father every day and say, "Abba, I belong to You."
Walking By Faith,
Beth
5 comments:
Oh, Beth, I'm sorry you are going through all this. It sounds like a major season of trial...I've been there for sure. I had a bit of a health crisis almost 4 years ago that rocked my world. Through it all, though, I felt the had of Jesus walking me through it ( as well as the incredible support of my church family and family). I will be praying for you.
So sorry to hear things are getting worse with your health Beth! I do understand in some ways what you are going through...chronic fatigue syndrome sucks!!! I hate it with a passion! Will be praying for you, and if you ever need a fellow CFS-er to vent or cry to, please please please feel free to come to me and not feel bad about it. I do understand! Also, if you are willing to share I would love to know what other things they are treating you for--I also have fibromyalgia and plantar fasciitis, a vitamin D deficiency and some hormone imbalances, but that is all they have officially figured out yet. Will be praying for you, and again, please feel free to come to come to me when you are really struggling with this stuff!
ps...I also get the mourning over a loss of baking--my little heart could not take it, that is my main source of joy right now!
Sweet Beth, What a journey. I am sorry to hear it's immediate and overwhelming impact. I pray that you will be able to face them, each day, with God's new mercies. And don't forget, God can take the bad stuff too. He's SUPER big. :) Hugs to you, and GoodBye, Dear Friend, Our Beloved Chocolate. Love, Denise (feel free to share more as you want..)
Beth, I enjoy reading your blog and am sorry to hear about all the transitions and health issues going on. I don't know if you're like me in not liking change, but if so, I know where you're coming from. Carra Selent is passionate about the connection of health and food, so she might be a good resource for you if you're interested. And I would be excited to have you come visit the Triad and give us some female on-campus insight!!
Beth...know that I am praying for you in all this health stuff. I completely understand how hard it can be to have to step aside...but God calls us to care for His temple (our bodies). I too have struggled with FCS...and its tough. Just know that I am praying for you in this and understand in part what you are going through.
~Jen Benson McKinney ("Little Beth" Lol)
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