NKOTB!!

One of my favorite things about my job is summer project. The last week and a half the staff have been preparing for the students' arrival and have had some fun along the way. The Today Show, NKOTB, a Patty Griffin & Buddy Miller concert, Tim Keller preaching at Redeemer, bonding with the team in Little Italy, meeting our students on Tuesday and praying for a great summer.

Tomorrow will be our first day out on the campuses around the city. We would be so grateful for your prayers as we talk with students about where they are on their spiritual journey. Thanks so much!!

Beth

Start Spreadin' the News....I'm leaving Tuesday....

I'm leaving on Tuesday to spend my 3rd summer in the greatest city on Earth.....New York. The joys of working with a campus ministry comes in many forms, one being how I get to spend my summers. I've been to Russia, Santa Cruz, CA, Gatlinburg, Daytona, Orlando, Ft. Collins, Colorado, Clearhotter, FL, and now....NYC. There are 104 campuses in the NYC area and so few of them have any kind of Christian presence. So, a team of college students and staff will try to help the NYC staff team launch new ministries on some of the key campuses. We would covet your prayers.

So, here are a few reasons why I love NYC and why you should visit this glorious city. A NYC staff member, Ross, made a statement about why come to the city (Ross, I'm paraphrasing), "For all of you who want to get away in nature just to be with God, come to the city. God made people and that is His greatest creation, so come to the city." Yes, please. I think I will. So without further delay, here is my fave things list in photo and brilliant commentary on NYC.


1. No lhama's. NYC is lhama-free the last time I checked. However, I would not be surprised for someone to tell me that they saw a lhama walking to Macy's to check out the new fur coat collection. NYC has it all and they discriminate against no one, unless you are from Boston.
2. The skyline.
Seriously people, do I need to say more? Probably the most recognized skyline in the world.

3. The man. The journalist. The best. Tommy B. NYC boasts this famous resident and my goal this summer is to meet and interview him. We'll keep ya posted on this one. However you might find me with a sign outside of the Today show studios every Friday morning this summer with the concert series. I will say in a non-creepy-ish way to Matt Lauer my desire to meet Tommy B. and can he make that happen. I will then slip a crisp $5 into his hand (he needs the money) to make it happen

4. Um, yes this is my address.

5. Only in NYC can you make BFF's on the subway ride home from Flushing. I was trying to talk to him about llhama's and Tommy B. and he was overcome with emotion that he fell asleep.

6. Only in NYC can a 5'5" (never know where to put the " and ' and I'm in grad school) red-head do a photoshoot on a ferry for America's Next Top Southern Model. IT didn't go quite as planned since my hair kept getting stuck in my lip gloss.

7. When you arrive in the city, these people line the sidewalks and cheer for you. Kinda like the great cloud of witnesses that have gone on before you.

8. Only in Washington Square Park (by NYC) can you share Christ with a man who has a hand puppet. We didn't know whether to talk to the man or the puppet.

9. City College. I loved working on this campus. Isn't it beautiful?

10. My best friend Lindsey Lohan visits the city. She has a new collection of ankle bracelets out that I'm hoping to talk with her about.

Just think, another adventure starts on Tuesday. On a serious note, God has brought the world to our door in NYC. It is always difficult for me to come home to Tennessee at the end of the summer. When I think about standing before Jesus in Heaven, I think about all the cultures of the world standing there with me, praising Him in every tongue. So, here's to you, Jesus. Thanks in advance for writing another great chapter in my life this summer. You know that I love a good story and could never be okay with normal.

Legacy

My feisty 85-year old Mamaw passed away on Saturday, May 15th. She would've turned 86 on Saturday (22nd). She was my last living grandparent. One of the main reasons I moved to Knoxville in 2002 was to be near Mamaw and Papaw. Papaw passed away 2 1/2 years ago and we had to move Mamaw to Kingsport so my Dad, stepmother, and sister could care for her. She had alzheimers, otherwise known as, "The Long Goodbye" disease.

Not many people have the joy of having their grandparents in their lives until the age of 35 and 37 like my sister, Maria and I have had. Mamaw and Papaw weren't just the grandparents we saw on Christmas and once during the summer, but the grandparents who were actively involved in our lives.

They, along with my dad and stepmother would take us (along with our cousin Natalie) to Florida, Disneyworld, Myrtle Beach, Opryland, and a lot of other places, but the place I cherished most was their home in north Knoxville. There's just something magical about grandparents homes.

My Mamaw and Papaw Payne's (mom's parents) home also had this effect on me. Sunrooms, great big closets, claw foot tubs, sunny, yellow kitchen where Mamaw let us drink out of the dipper, keyholes to peep through on the door that went down to the basement, and a Mamaw that would let us ring the big bell to wake everyone up for breakfast.

Maria told me about a song recently called, "The House That Built Me" by Miranda Lambert. We cannot listen to this song without crying because it reminds us of our grandparents and the impact the four of them have had on our lives.

We would go to Knoxville just about every other weekend of my childhood. There were some things we'd know for sure. Mamaw would have a red velvet cake in which my sister and I would fight over the corner pieces. She would also make us homemade biscuits and gravy for breakfast. Daddy and Papaw would go to the football games and Mamaw either took us to the mall or she would be stuck with us watching the same movies over and over - Swiss Family Robinson, Annie, Jaws, and Pete's Dragon. A fave memory was of her taking us to see, "Return of the Jedi" in which she fell asleep. She loved us with her baking and with her time.

Mamaw cleaned our ears rather painfully, and brushed our hair rather painfully, but she loved us well. My sister and Mamaw are so much alike it is uncanny, while I am more like my Papaw. I loved their imprint on our lives. As I was listening to the preacher at Papaw's funeral, and again at Mamaw's on Monday, I was overwhelmed with the weight of continuing a spiritual and Godly legacy. Harold and Mary (don't you love their names?) were married for 63 years and were the epitome of consistent. Often I would get up in the morning and see Papaw at the table pouring over the Bible and his sunday school lessons. Mamaw served in the nursery for 50 years. I thought to myself, "I make this too complicated." I worry about "calling" and doing great things for Jesus, but in reality, I just desire to walk with Him daily.

My friend Darren uses a phrase over and over, "simplicity and purity of devotion". I love this. I believe this is how my grandparents walked with Jesus....with simplicity and purity of devotion.

Thanks for remembering and honoring Harold, Mary, Bill and Millie by reading this blog today. I'd love to hear about your grandparents home or your favorite memory with your grandparents.

Love,
Beth

Spring has SPRUNG!

One should never blog when they are tired and just finished watching Glee. I love Glee. I sometimes like to pretend that I am Rachel and back in high school. There are a few differences though. I cannot sing well AND I have been out of high school for a LONG time AND I have no desire to relive high school. Some people are still stuck in their glory days of high school. I am also pretty sure that Rachel would not wear Ann Taylor Loft clothes or Target jewelry, but I do think she would love my new shoes.

OH what a month it has been. In just a month's time I won the lottery, hiked Mt. Everest, recorded a duet with Celine, taught a conference with Beth Moore, filmed a movie, ran a marathon, found a cure for cancer, and in my spare time single-handedly ended poverty, abuse, and oppression. What have you done?

Before I went on medical leave in February, I somehow thought I was needed. Important. I don't think I consciously thought that, but it's amazing what can surface when you take a step back from life as you have known it for the past five years. Being busy, doing the right things and things you love can sometimes keep you from understanding and receiving His love for us. At least that's my story. Jesus has/is been/being so kind to me as he gently presses his finger on some areas of my life as if he is saying, "Beth, let's do life differently. Let me teach you to live simply, freely, and out of being rooted in Me, not out of expectation, chaos, busyness, good things that demand your time, and ministry."

As The Message states in Matthew 11 28-30"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

Now that I've taken a step back I am terrified to re-enter life as I used to know it, because reality is that I don't want to. Not one ounce of me wants to go back to having no time for my family, being exhausted, sounding like a broken record because all I say is, "I'm tired.", putting ministry first, saying "yes" to a lot of good things, but not what is best. Why is it so difficult to just BE for a time? It is so counter-cultural. Everything in me says, "It is better to be doing than to just BE before the Lord."

My friend Philip introduced me to this great book called, "A TESTAMENT OF DEVOTION" by Thomas Kelly. Kelly gives language to what I am still trying to solidify. Here he says, "This amazing simplification comes when we 'center down' when life is lived with singleness of eye, from a holy Center where the breath and stillness of Eternity are heavy upon us and we are wholly yielded to Him. Some of you know this holy, recreating Center of eternal peace and joy and live in it day and night. Some of you may see it over the margin and wistfully long to slip into that amazing Center where the soul is at home with God. Be very faithful to that wistful longing. It is the Eternal Goodness calling you to return Home, to feed upon green pastures and walk beside still waters and live in the peace of the Shepherd's presence. It is the life beyond fevered strain."

Desiring to walk beyond fevered strain,
Beth

A New Day....(thank you, Celine)

So reality finally hit me tonight that I am no longer the director at UT. God has been leading me elsewhere for awhile now and it is time to pass the baton to the new director. Someone I know and trust...someone who loves and will love UT as much as I do. Tonight I wanted to reflect on my 8 years here since I'm feeling quite pensive and reflective.

Year 1 - 2002/2003
Started the year with Hank, Eric, and Darren. Matt and Jill came a little later. We were a new team and bonded instantly. I loved being under Hank's leadership and then leading with him. The students didn't quite know what to think of us, but they were hilarious and the "hippest" I had been around. My first bible study had 15 women and they were quite a mixed bunch that didn't quite know what to do with me....especially when I made them play an embarrassing game for our first bible study time. That year I bonded with Heather Depriest, Becca Umstot, Erica Butler, Sarah West, Sara Scribner, Lane Faulkner, Katie Harvey (remember Kenny Chesney?), Laura Winn, Bekah Emerling, Kristina Weber, Nancy Simmons, Crystal Shields, Brad Crawford. I met the fab Tiffany Hughes and Valerie Wilkins this year as well. This was also the year Lacy came to Christ at campus time of Winter Conference.

Year 2 2003/2004
This was my toughest year on staff. We had a challenging year with students really challenging decisions and the character of our team. I loved leading with Hank. I wanted to peace out, but I didn't. I grew closer to Scribby, Becca, and Sarah and started a freshmen group with Holly Dagnan, Kristen and Stephanie Arms, Leah Jones, Brittney Kidd, Amanda Sharpe, and Brad Crawford. A girl named Sarah came to Christ after bringing her family to an outreach where they received Christ.

Haley joined our team and added another girl. This is when the alliance started of Eric, Darren, Haley, and myself. We started watching Survivor after every CRU - a tradition that continued until the mass Exodus in 2007/2008. This is also the year that Eric dressed up like Chad McGhee and Darren like Kenny Chesney for my birthday. That medium gray tshirt Eric wore will never be the same.

Year 3 2004/2005
This was a fun year....still leading with Hank. Lauren Bradshaw, Reece, Meg, Julie, Shelley Long , Erin, Alisha, joined the mix. This is when th e girls would go to my house while I was out-of-town (every girl had a key to my house) and take pictures of themselves in that old nasty wedding dress I had from my broken engagement. They were hilarious. Also had to have numerous talks with Bradshaw over her wanting to drop hints to Jared to propose. Love you friend!! Hung out some with Anna Dukes and Jenny Wallace. Dara Lynn joined the team at the end of this year and was so much fun. It's late and I'm writing for memory, so forgive me if I leave your name out. This might've been when Brad and I fished out a toilet seat wheelchair from the Kroger dumpster (on Broadway) and put it on Darren's car. OH, Brad Crawford.

Year 4 2005/2006
I got mono. Fell in love with NYC. Still leading with Hank. Added a few fun ones to the mix. Leellen, Laura, Mariruth, Meghan. Tiffany interned!! Brad Crawford.

Year 5 2006/2007
Haley's family passed away and I inherited her women for a season.....25 girls in bible study. Tough, tough year. Lots of traveling with Haley as she dealt with grief, estate stuff, and family visits. Crawled through this year. Sweet Reece interned and was a trooper. I was leading with Hank and he carried the weight of the ministry pretty much by himself as I was walking with Haley through this season.

Year 6 2007/2008
I've loved all my bible studies, but this group was unique from the start for me. I've never had a bible study that BECAME as transparent and honest as this one. Rachel, Laura, Lauren, Rachel, Sara, Caroline, JEssica, Frankie, Kayla, Becca, Amy, Michelle, Carrie, Ashley, Leigh. http://www.overbayphotography.net/Slideshows/BethsBibleStudy/
I prayed from day one that I set foot on campus that UT would become a sending campus for women. In my 8 years I have seen that happen. 5 of these women are with CCC now, but almost all of the women I've had the blessed opportunity to know are walking with Jesus and impacting their families, coworkers, children, etc.

Year 7 2008/2009
Alot like year 6 except I began leading with Britton. Britton brough so much organization and took the weight of administration off my shoulders and brought creativity to CRU. He challenged me to walk by faith. This was also the year of saying "bye" to these dear women and to Eden. Lindsey joined our team this year and brought so much life to our team and became such a friend to me.

Year 8 2009/2010
Still writing this story, but transitioning out of my role and full-time assignment here. Have been so weepy tonight as I think about God's faithfulness and my love for UT. This blog is for me....a chance to reflect and think about how many people have come and gone and are walking with Him. Thank you for trusting me, sharing your life, and for making me love Jesus more. My time at UT wouldn't be complete without each one of you.

Rocky Top, you'll always be home sweet home to me.

Just Say "NO" to Catfish and Cookies

Well, take a look at little Timmy here. Things could be a lot worse. Okay, so here's my update. For my dear supporters, you should be receiving my newsletter in a day or two. If you are one of my precious women at UT, this will explain a little more about my transition and why you haven't seen me as much the past month.

Hoping For A Season of Change, Restoration, and Healing

There have been a lot of changes taking place in my life and it wasn’t until a few days ago that they were somewhat solidified, at least for the next couple of months.

In an effort to not bore you with long, drawn out details of my health, I will try to share briefly, and if you would like to know more then I would be glad to share. For about four years I have wrestled with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, but recently I had more blood work done that showed 6 other things that need to be addressed and the issues are serious enough that they are warranting at least a two month medical leave of absence. What this means is that I will still be going to grad school and working on campus part-time. I just need time to get well, make some lifestyle changes, see doctors, and heal.

Prior to the health alert, I had decided it was time for me to step down as the director at UT. I felt, and still feel, that God is leading me to narrow my focus on shepherding and caring for people in the ministry of Campus Crusade. While I will still shepherd, equip, and train our staff here at UT to go after the 35,000 students, faculty, and staff, I will also be traveling more to other campuses to help them do the same thing.

To be completely transparent, while I am grateful to finally know what is going on health wise, I am completely overwhelmed and somewhat blue at different times during the day. I have loved being the director at UT for the past 8 years, and to let that go is an act of obedience to the Lord leading me in another direction, but it is hard. I know this blog is about as uplifting as a root canal, but at least I'm not as depressed as little Timmy in the picture.

On a funny and irritable note, I received my treatment plan today from the doctor who is working with me. Due to there being so many issues to address, part of the plan includes a drastic change in diet and I mean DRASTIC. If you know me I am a major BAKER. I love it. NEVER HAVE I EVER CRAVED A CARROT STICK. Apparently my new venacular will include, "Man, I sure am craving a salt-free rice cake with butter."

I seriously have the best friends in the world. I know that's cliche', but it's cliche' for a reason. Anyway, Haley immediately makes me an excel spreadsheet to help me with this new plan. My mom and cousin hop on board this bandwagon too. My sisters cheer for me while I gripe and my stepmother (and wonderful friend) thinks it sounds wonderful, but she's also skinny and healthy. My sweet Daddy empathizes with the loss of chocolate. Chocolate and I are having a funeral and I will be receiving friends all day, every day for the next three months.

Thanks for humoring my grouchiness and griping. I am only allowing myself to do this for tonight and tonight only. Please hear me when I say that all of this is such a small thing compared to what some are walking through. I realize that, which is why I have been hesitant to share my own stuff, but some have noticed my absence and I wanted to explain why.

One thing I keep coming back to is out of Brennan Manning's new book, "The Furious Longing of God" where he challenged someone to go before the Father every day and say, "Abba, I belong to You."

Walking By Faith,

Beth

Oh, Canada.

Dear Canada,

I think you are a lovely country, however I have a few bones to pick with you.
No offense, my dad took me to an Anne Murray concert in 3rd grade and I like her rendition of the Tennessee Waltz just as much as the next redneck, but where is Celine Dion
in these Olympic opening ceremonies?

I keep waiting with anticipation for my musical hero to arrive and time and again I am greeted with a bucket of cold water on my face (aka: KD Lang). Someone give me the Canadian DIVA and a hearty, "Power of Love" as Celine runs into the stadium in her stilettos with the torch?

OH CANADA!!! How could you not esteem the greatest assett in your country next to Alex Trebek and Michael J. Fox???????????????

An Angry American,
Beth