Going to the Chapel!

"Why aren't you married?" Ahhh........every single womans favorite question. I, along with fellow yet-to-be-attached friends, have spent countless hours dodging this question at family functions, church, high school reunions and even from 90 year old men walking the mall. Praise Jesus that this weekend I will celebrate the death of that sentence for 2 of my dearest friends as they say their, "I Do's".

Lisa, we have been through 15 years of life together. From roommates my sophomore and your junior year, cheesy answering machine messages for Christmas (remember, "Let It Beep"?), flannel shirts, white dress shoes, Lisa night, Chad Shirley, "others", Chuck for Pres, that creep who cheated on your who is a pastor now, homecoming court shopping, Ross & Rachel, Rachel & Ross, ER, elves, fudge rounds & leg lifts. Girl.......the list goes on. I can't wait to celebrate with you this week. Thanks for asking me to stand beside you. Kerry I'm sure knows what a prize he has in you.


This is a picture from my junior year spring break trip to Boston. Nicole, Lisa, me, VanCamp. Such a fun trip.

My 2nd dear friend getting married is Amanda. Sadly, I can't be in 2 places at once this weekend and my heart is so sad and heavy, but we will celebrate in person soon and watch the DVD over and over, hearing every detail. Amanda, I couldn't be happier that Dan snagged you up. He knows what a prize you are and will treat you as such. YOU have been the dearest friend at pursuing me, my travel buddy, constant encourager, you seriously have a remedy for everything, the friend who gets on a plane when I am in a pit and just sits with me, the only friend who remembered the date of my broken engagement and sent me a card. You are also the only one I know who loves Charleston as much as I do. Friend, know that I am celebrating YOU this week as well. Know how dear you are and how grateful I am for God bringing Dan to you.

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. WAHHHHHHHHHHHH Whhhaaaaa (in the voice of Charlie Brown's teacher).

Off to polish my shoes for 17th time as a bridesmaid. I'm a pro. AND I love it.
Beth

Wonder Woman

Tomorrow is my first day of school in quite a few years. I'm starting grad school to get my MA in Professional Counseling. As my Uncle Sonny says, "Why do you need to go to school to be a counselor? I can tell you what to do and it's quick and free. Admit it and quit it." Hilarious.

Anyway, I've been blown away by how affirming the response has been from those closest to me. As you'll see below, my friend and fellow co-director, Britton gave me a lunch box with Wonder Woman on the front with the logo, "Strength & Beauty" on the side. I LOVE THIS LUNCHBOX and I am actually going to take it with me. I'm not scared. Thanks, Britton.

On a side note, I wonder if I should dress up as Wonder Woman for my first day? Honestly, sometimes I live life as if I should be this superhero....granted I don't run around in an 80's unitard with red boots (well, maybe I did with my childhood be frie Anne when we were choreographing dance moves in 5th grade), but internally I feel as if I should do everything well, lest I disappoint. Today I read in a devotional with my staff team the following, "We were created to be dependent. Dependency is not therefore a sign of weakness. Rather it is a universal indicator of our humanity." In Scripture we read about what happens when we live as if we are the independent superhero in this grand drama of life; and I see it lived out in my own.

We were created to be dependent on so many things for physical life - food, water, sleep, etc. Things we must get...can't live independetly apart from or we die. The same is true with our relationship with our Creator. If I live independently from Him then I begin to wither up and die as well. Apart from Him I can do nothing. At least nothing that is worth anything and all it does is leave me depleted and stir up a neediness of other things and people. Don't get me wrong, we need other people in our lives, but not in a way that is demanding and to alleviate emotional insecurity.

Man, I really wanted to get on here and be funny tonight. Oh well. Try me tomorrow after I get out of my Ethics class. I"m sure I'll have some good material then. Feel free to keep asking me over the next few years of my journey through school if I am keeping Christ and His Word at the center of all I'm learning. He is my filter and my grid.

Love to you all! Thanks for your encouragement and prayers.

Beth

Bdubs

Bait

Dinner with "The Man"....Larry.

I went to Asheville last night to have dinner with a hero of mine....Larry Crabb. What a gift it was to sit down and have conversation with he and his lovely wife Rachel. If you know me at all then you know of my great affection for Larry and his books. God has used this man signficantly in my life.

After my broken engagement, THE BEST DISCIPLER EVER, Debbie Cox gave me my 1st Larry Crabb book called, "Finding God". The main thing I walked away from after reading that book was that I cannot avoid pain, but I have to walk through it and allow God to change me in the midst of pain.

The 2nd Larry book I read was, "Connecting". I was new staff with CRU and desperately wanted to have real relationships. This led me to "Shattered Dreams" which is my all time fave book. The basic premise is that sometimes God allows our dreams to be shattered in order to find out what our real dreams are, which is ultimately and whole-heartedly CHRIST. So when I had the chance (2 years ago) to go to his 7 day School of Spiritual Direction I was so excited. Check it out at http://www.newwayministrires.org/ Once again, that week has turned out to be pivotal in my walk with Jesus.

I could go on and on about how God has used this man in my life, but you all will grow nauseous and say, "We get it! Enough already." Anyway, I love how God uses different people in our life to speak vision, words of life, truth, and encouragement. Who is that for you?

Thanks for letting me share!

Beth

What's in a cliche'?

Be forewarned. One probably shouldn't blog when they haven't slept in 6 days. Please don't stop supporting me because I've had a bad day. I'm a cynic for a bit.

cli⋅ché

1.a trite, stereotyped expression; a sentence or phrase, usually expressing a popular or common thought or idea, that has lost originality, ingenuity, and impact by long overuse.

Once upon a time there was a girl who got dumped. Okay, so this is the story of a 1,000,000 women. I remember the first time a cliche' really touched my life. I believe it was in middle school and I was in youth group watching a Dallas Holm or Wayne Watson (can I get a shout out for Dallas or Wayne?) video about, "When God Closes a Door, He'll Open a Window". I was moved to tears and thought, "How true." So today I was wondering, "How did I get so cynical over cliche's that I too once tossed around like a ball at Wimbledon?"

My new definition of cliche is "what people say when they have no idea what to say". Okay, so I'd love to hear from you about your opinions on "cliche's" and perhaps what are some of your favorites. You can add them to my list.

"Let Go. Let God." (Sure. And?)
"They're in a better place." (my unsaid response, "Yes, but i want them here.")
"You aren't married because you don't put yourself out there." (Where is "out there"? Is it Wal-Mart? SuperTarget? Egypt? Even that little mouse sang a song about it and he doesn't know where "out there" is either, only that it's narrowed down to "underneath the same big sky")
"Time heals all wounds." (While this is true in certain circumstances, I just don't like it. I'm cranky.)

All right. All right. I'll go take a nap and get a little more spirit-filled and then write a nice blog.

Beth

Dog or Human?

Well, I've never been compared to a dog before.........until today. As I walked incognito into my 1st Weight Watchers meeting (sunglasses, large hat, trench coat, binoculars), I carefully selected a discreet seat in the back row. At exactly 9:30AM I am scared into reality as "Peppy" comes singing and dancing down the aisle. I look around me to watch the reactions of the other people in the room who were unphased. I pull out my cell phone and text my mom, sisters and Haley to let them know that I feel like I am in AA and should stand up and say, "I am Beth and I am fat." But I was too prideful and don't feel like I'm "fat", just big boned.

So "Peppy" does some toe touches and leaps and asks for feedback from the audience. This is when "Mary" decides to share about how she feels that dogs know the secret to stablizing their weight. Eat the same thing everyday. She said that we too should be dogs. Hmm. I think the above picture kinda throws Mary's theory out of commission.

I will admit that when "Peppy" started handing out stickers for those who had reached a weight goal that week, I found myself back in kindergarten and desperately wanting a sticker. I even teared up. For real. So, this is my vulnerable attempt at trying to reach for my first sticker. Tell the whole world wide web you are going to Weight Watchers and there's some automatic accountability and increased scrutiny on the size of my chins.

So, this leads me to my grocery store trip. Is anyone else disturbed over the fact that we eat food that doesn't go bad for TWO YEARS??????????????? HELLO!!!! It's mildly disturbing. I'm saying this aloud as I load my buggy down with every version of preservative-packed chocolate weight-loss snack known to the free world. It's a start.

After the grocery store trip I need some more motivation so I head over to ATL (Ann Taylor Loft), my fave store. They are having a MEGA sale in which I will receive 45% off my purchase. Thank you, Sally. (Why does a missionary who raises her own support feel the need to broadcast to everyone that I will purchase clothes on sale?) Anyway, I put on hold pants that are a size or two smaller than where I am now as more motivation. I promise I will do a fashion show starting mid-October with my new jeans. I know you all will be waiting with baited breath.

Okay, I'm sure I will wake up tomorrow completely mortified at the fact that I was this vulnerable about what most women hate the most: weight. However, it's kinda nice too. Maybe it's the hunger getting to my brain. I don't know. I have issues, don't I? OH well. I'm off to try my new snack.

Bdubs

SEE. YES. YOU. (CSU)

Okay, so it's that time again. Every other summer I get to go to Colorado for Campus Crusade's National Staff Conference. Imagine 6,000 of your closest friends converging on the campus of Colorado State University. CSU (as it is affectionately called) is a mixed bag of emotions. The conference is an introverts nightmare and sometimes utopia for us extroverts. If you were a people watcher this would be idyllic for you. Please know that CSU is a time that we hear from our amazing leaders as they cast vision, pray for us, and try and bring some refreshment to a group of people who are often weary. I'm grateful for our leaders. However, would you allow me to poke some fun at myself and the singles scene you see at CSU?

Weeks ahead of time many women start planning their outfits. We were once told by an older staff guy that conference outfits are crucial. I hope my $5 flip flops and sequined Michael Jackson glove fit the bill. A certain friend of mine packed 20 outfits for 9 days. Several women have fashion shows in our rooms before each session. Accessories? Check. Perfume strength? Check. Any visible lines? Check. We as women must always be prepared and we always must have each others back. There will be no anomalies on any of my friends!!! Thank you boy scouts.

Another reason you would be fascinated by watching singles at this conference is the fact that the guy-girl ratio is about 1:400. We've got women dropping hankies left and right and guys either oblivious or picking the hankie right up or staring at the hankie as it lies on the ground in front of their feet. Fascinating.

My personal favorite conversation to have at CSU always revolves around Henry Cloud. Why do all roads lead back to Henry Cloud? He is an author who came and spoke to the single staff a few years ago about "Dating". Whew!! You would've thought either Mother Theresa or the Unibomber (depending on which side of the road you stand) had spoken with the opinions that surfaced. Henry, will you be there? I'll bring your armor.

As much as I poke fun of myself and my single friends, there truly is no place like CSU. No one on this earth understands my world like the people in big Moby gym for 10 days straight. I can poke fun because these people are extended family and we all poke fun of extended family. I mean, everyone has a Great Aunt Wanda.

Anyway, I'm flying out in a few and I will have an outfit to die for and a purse full of hankies.

Beth

Jesus, I am Resting

I've been listening to this beautiful hymn recently. You can find it on itunes under the Shelly Moore Band.

Jesus I am resting, resting

In the Joy of what Thou art;

I am finding out the greatness

Of Thy loving heart.

Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee,

And Thy beauty fills my soul,

For by Thy transforming power

Thou hast made me whole.

O how great Thy loving kindness.

Vaster, broader than the sea!

O how marvellous Thy goodness,Lavished all on me!

Yes, I rest in Thee, Beloved,

Know Thy certainty of promise,

And have made it mine

Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus,

I behold Thee as Thou art,

And Thy love, so pure, so changeless,

Satisfies my heart;Satisfies its deepest longings,

Meets supplies its every need,

Compasseth me round with blessings;

Thine is love indeed!

Ever lift Thy face upon me,

As I work and wait for Thee;

Resting 'neath Thy smile, Lord Jesus,

Earth's dark shadows flee.

Brightness of my Father's glory,

Sunshine of my Father's face,

Keep me ever trusting, resting;

Fill me with Thy grace.

I'm so glad to be back in Tennessee. Clearwater Beach is so beautiful and I had some quiet and refreshing moments sitting on the beach...especially with my bible study and Sunday night Prayer and Vision times, but the mountains are the place for me. I suppose it is in my blood. I wish I were one to enjoy the mountains by taking grand and long hikes, but to be honest I prefer riding a tram or doing short treks, but there's something about being outside in the mountains that just brings life.

Speaking of life, I need one. Whew....being back in Knoxville and raising support isn't the most exciting of times, but I am trusting that Jesus is going to meet every need and the need is great. I'm not talking ONLY about monetary need, but spiritual need as well.

When UT starts up again in a little over a month, 5,000 new freshmen will converge on campus looking for a new start, freedom from parents, new identity, or spending a lot of energy making sure everyone knows who they are. The first two weeks of campus are like Christian Rush. Every campus ministry is out in full force trying to gather those students who are interested. We estimate that roughly 1,000 students out of 29,000 or so that attend UT become involved in some type of Chrisitan ministry. Long after "Christian Rush" is over the question that we want to keep asking is, "What about the other 28,000?"

Today as I continue to raise my support would you pray about the spiritual need of the 28,000? That's the real number that is on my heart today.